People Are Not Thinking About You as Much as You Think They Are


A radio host and friend says that he opened the phone lines to discuss business ideas and he was pleasantly surprised at the high rate of calls received to discuss business ideas. The thrust of message is that most caller have not implemented their ideas because they are afraid to fail and that people will consider them as failures.

This is frustrating, but it should also be liberating.

I personally think that, for the most part, people are not thinking about you. They are thinking about themselves. And since people think of themselves a lot, this is an opportunity to use the narcissism of others to your advantage

We all know humans can be quite narcissistic and self-serving. But the narcissism of others gives you license to take great risk and then fail miserably.

Because when you fail, there is a high likelihood that most people are not even paying attention. 

Most of us spend tremendous effort trying to avoid the possibility of failure. We are worried about missing the mark because we fear what people will think of us. This forces us to play it safe, limiting ourselves to the things we already do well.

But the truth is, people are not really thinking about you, at least not in the way you think they are.

Most likely, people trust you a lot more than you trust yourself. They think you are far more resilient than you actually may be.

This is a license to be bold.

Once you free yourself from constantly trying to impress others and embrace the possibility of failure. the suffocating walls of self-doubt will erode around you.

While it’s hard to accept, no one will ever care about your interests and projects in the way that you do. Use this to your advantage. Take risks, fail big, rinse and repeat.

I have learned to remember the 20/40/60 Rule. Typically:

– When you are 20 years you worry about what others think about you.
– When you are 40 years you don’t care what others think about you anymore.
– When you are 60 years you realise nobody was thinking about you at all.

Fight your fears and you will be in battle forever. Face your fears and you will be free forever. – Lucas Jonkman

I hope this serves some constructive purpose.


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