Sometimes we don’t meet the expectations, that blog article fails to meet expectations, the promise we failed to keep, the things we said we shouldn’t have said, or the things we didn’t say that we were expected to say, that business or project we were supposed to start but did not… once again.
Its moments like these where one feels like a failure. Where you feel like you are one big disappointment. However,
Feeling like a failure has little correlation with actually failing.
There are people who have failed more times than you and I can count, who are happily continuing in their work.
There are others who have achieved more than most of us can imagine, who go to work each day feeling inadequate, behind, and yes, like failures and frauds.
Failure (as seen from the outside) is an event. It is a moment when the spec is not met, when a project is not completed as planned, when let someone down.
Feelings, on the other hand, are often persistent, and they are based on stories. Stories we tell ourselves as much as stories the world tells us.
As a result, if you want to have a feeling, you will have it.
Here is the essential first step:
Stop engaging with the false belief that the best way to stop feeling like a failure is to succeed.
Thinking of one’s self as a failure is not the same as failing. And thus, succeeding is not the antidote.
ps: taking a long distance drive helps me to get over feeling like a failure. I hope you have some ritual to get over that feeling.
Where are my keys?