Relationships that matter: … And the things you own…


Life is not about who dies the richest (nor about dying the poorest). The key to a happy life is about building genuine relationships and friendships.

I’m talking about genuine relationships, not relationships based on what you own materially.

I recently saw a TEDx talk about the secret to happiness not being money, or status but relationships. Healthy relationships can propel us to higher levels of happiness.

The quality of how we relate to materials things, money, people (young and old), our past, future, art, technology determines our standard of happiness.

How we relate to our gadgets vis-a-vis personal relationships determines if we spend more time acquiring things and less time on personal connections with people close to us.

The things you own end up owning you. It is only after you lose everything that you are free to do anything

We need to carefully manage our relationships to things. Things we own should not take priority over relationships that matter to us.

If you work very hard to own an iPad, congratulations on owing it, but if you end up staring at it at the dinner table in the presence of others, then iPad owns you, you don’t own it.

The same goes for your phone, your car, your clothes, if your relationships suffer because things around you are taking your attention religiously, then those things own you.

I love my job so much, but my job is not me. I’m not my CV.

You are not your job. You are not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You are not the contents of your wallet. You are not your khakis.

By all means buy things, in the process manage your relationship with these things, they must not manage you.

I do know this… Stuff really is just stuff, and it has absolutely no bearing on who you are as a person. 

Do not listen to what media has to say. If you do, you are giving your life away to marketing and media trickery. You have to create your own culture. What is real… is YOU and your family, your loves, your highs, your hopes, your plans, your fears, etc.

Too often we are told that we are not important, just because we are not driving this expensive car, we are not staying at the right address or wearing the right clothes.

I am just challenging you to re-think your relationship with things and priorities and what is important to you versus what society says is important.

“It is preoccupation with possessions, more than anything else that prevents us from living freely and nobly.” – Henry David Thoreau

“Much of our activity these days is nothing more than a cheap anaesthetic to deaden the pain of an empty life.” – Unknown

“The things you own end up owning you.” – Tyler Durden in Fight Club





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