Quiet Confidence: Happiness From Within

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Society tends to equate confidence with loudness: loudness of personality, of fearlessness, of bold spontaneity.

We think of a confident person as someone who can march into a room and command it with her power and presence. Talking a big talk is always considered a good thing.

Society tends to underestimate the power of quietness. Quiet people are considered lacking in confidence.

We also tend to equate loud confidence with success: someone who sees what she wants, then stops at nothing to get it.

But a loud approach to a confident personality does not fit all of us. Sure each of us can fake it here and there, and adapt when necessary. But on a day-to-day basis, a naturally quiet person can get pushed to the outskirts of the room to hang idly as a wallflower or some form of decoration.

Enter quiet confidence, the curiously cool cousin of loud confidence. A quietly confident person has a different effect on a room full of people. She does not command a room with her power and presence, she engenders trust, individually, in each person she interacts with in that room.

Quiet confidence is not about being loud, fearless, and boldly spontaneous, it is about being quietly curious, thoughtful and open to a world full of possibilities.

I first heard of the term Quiet Confidence from Baba Buntu, my mentor when he was referring to African men who exudes quiet confidence.

Quiet confident people get their happiness from within. In order to be confident in what you do, you have to be happy with who you are.

Happiness is an inside job. Quiet confident people don’t depend on material or external things to be happy. Their happiness is not dependent on the approval or disapproval of others.

People who brim with confidence derive their sense of pleasure and satisfaction from their own accomplishments, as opposed to what other people think of their accomplishments.

Quiet confident people don’t have to prove anything to anyone to show that they are important or accomplished. They know their limitations and don’t seek approval from others to validate their strength

They know that no matter what anyone says, you are never as good or bad as people say you are.

They do what they have to do, quietly, diligently and with no sign of showing off to others.

They work hard in the background, hence the confidence, and they are silent about it, hence the quietness.  They recognise that it is in the times of being unseen and hidden that we go deeper. There is treasure in the depths.

They are the no bells and whistles people, they are not the big alpha character, but their impact is felt.

We miss them when they are not around, not because they are loud and demand attention, but because their silent impact is felt when they are gone.

Beautiful is a person with quiet confidence, never desperate for attention, but always gets noticed.

Confidence is quiet. Insecurities are loud.

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