One of us is in trouble: … and no one knows

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Tim Ferriss, one of my favorite author and podcaster starts his TED talk as follows:

“So, this happy pic of me was taken in 1999. I was a senior in college, and it was right after a dance practice. I was really, really happy. And I remember exactly where I was about a week and a half later. I was sitting in the back of my used minivan in a campus parking lot, when I decided I was going to commit suicide. I went from deciding to full-blown planning very quickly. And I came this close to the edge of the precipice. It’s the closest I’ve ever come.”

Every human being has a twin inside them.

One of us we show to the world, and one of us we hide inside.

One of us is smiling on the outside, and one of us is dying inside.

One of us is wearing a power suit, carrying all the accessories that makes us look like we are in charge, and the other one is insecure, deeply craves attention and validation.

One of us is smiling at the breakfast table saying “honey, please pass me the salt,” and the other one of us wants to get out of this house and never come back.

One of us is driving to work in the morning, the other one wants to run away and change her name and start afresh.

One of us is sitting in class and the other one has left the room.

And nobody knows that the other one of us is in trouble.

When people give up and commit suicide, family members and close friends are surprised because they thought everything was okay but they didn’t understand the difference between the person you project to be and who you really are.

You can project to everyone that everything is fine, and they will not realise that one of us, your inner twin is in trouble.

Until we focus on healing the inner us, on building the confidence in us, we will always be unhappy.

The outer us is a front, a show, a PR exercise, the inner us is the real us.

I guess it is a normal human desire to be concerned about how we look on the outside. There is nothing wrong with that.

What can get us in trouble is worrying more about how we look on the outside than about how we really are on the inside.

No problem is outside of us. What we see is only a projection of what is inside of us.

I believe if you want to be successful, you must prioritise building your inside ahead of your outside.

Victory is an inside job.

As Rumi beautifully puts it:

We carry inside us the wonders we seek outside us.

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