When it comes to your relationships with others: are you a giver, a taker or matcher in life?
Givers: are constantly looking for ways to be helpful. They have selfless approach life and are constantly helping others. They thrive on changing people’s lives for the better. They help you and don’t expect any credit, acknowledgement or some publicity.
Matchers: are only too happy to help others but more often than not, they expect something in return. These are typically the you scratch my back, I scratch yours. I will help with your favor, but you owe me one.
Takers: it is about them, what they want and what they don’t want. Takers are willing to accept help from others but they rarely make it their priority to pay the good deed back. In extreme cases, takers knowingly focus on gaining as much as possible from other people. It is about them getting ahead of the rest.
You will certainly have heard of the phrase ‘nice guys finish last’ or ‘nice girls don’t get the corner office’ and you may be under the impression that givers get left behind because they are too trusting, too caring and too willing to sacrifice their own needs to help others.
However, according to a study by Adam Grant [, being a giver in life can help you achieve more success in the long run.
It does this by causing a ripple effect that helps others to achieve greatness in the process.
Instead of striving for your own prosperity, you will look to offer value to others too.
As a result, those you help will cheer you on and support you on your journey to success.
If you are a taker, however, others may feel jealous of your success and may try to tear you down.
According to Grant:
The most meaningful way to success is to help others succeed.
Although it is clear that being a giving person is key to health, wealth and happiness, it is vital that you are able to set boundaries.
You need to identify when it is time to draw the line and stop people taking advantage of your kindness.
You don’t want to be a giver in a sea of takers.
Too much selfless can result in burnout and missed opportunities.
PS: These classifications are not casting-stone. It doesn’t mean if you are taker, you can’t change to be a giver or vice-versa.