Insiders and Outsiders: Left out

A prominent soccer player joins a prestigious local team. His stay at that team is short-lived and after he left, he says: "It was difficult at the club, when you have almost no-one to talk to, you just go to training there, warm up, go home, and you don't know what to work on. No…

Insiders and Outsiders: and the family

When remarried couples have children from a previous marriage, they are highly likely to face the huge and shocking impact of what are called Insider/Outsider forces. These Insider/Outsider forces tend to shift the members of the couple into vastly different positions. The outsider [the stepparent] is struggling to enter the family system and make some…

Insiders and Outsiders: Be you

I went to a prestigious school and you didn't. I'm an insider and you are an outsider. I belong to a precious church and you don't. I'm an insider and you are an outsider. I grew up in an exclusive suburb and you come from the villages. I'm an insider and you are an outsider.…

Insiders and Outsiders: Knowing where to go

Knowing where to go turns you from an outsider into an insider. When you show up at a venue you have been before, it feels good when you don’t have to ask where the nonsmoking area is, where the green room is, what coffee shops are within walking distance. Familiarity on the road breeds confidence,…

Will you change my mind

Don’t try to change peoples’ minds. Try to connect with peoples’ hearts. If you want to turn no’s into yes’s, it is all about connection. Because no one is looking to get their mind changed. No one wants to admit they had the wrong idea. No one is looking to you to right their course…

Trusting your gut

Becoming aware of the voice asking “Can I trust my gut on this one?“ is affirmation in and of itself that you likely can. It is the gut’s way of saying: “Hey, here I am, listen up”. Spirit moves in mysterious ways.  

Habits: Your boss

There is a saying in personal finance: You are the boss of your budget until you are done with it and then it becomes the boss of you. Same with your habits. So when building a budget or your habits, build wisely so later you have a good boss.

Habits: The secret to your future

We are embarrassed of talking about our bad habits because what kind of person would perpetually do something that is negative towards themselves. We are embarrassed of talking about our good habits because we think it makes us sound self-righteous, an air of superiority. Also if good habits get talked about, it makes you somewhat…

Habits: Last minute

You might remember when you were a high school student [as I do] trying to work out a revision system that helped you to maximise your chances of academic success. I understood then that Straight-A students got into the habit of studying from day one. Doing things at the last minute is a habit. Once…

Habits: Makes us…

Do you always bite your nails? Are you always on your phone? When you hear a ping sound on your phone, irrespective of where you are [in a meeting, while driving, or out on a dinner date], you check your phone immediately? Even when there is no ping sound on your phone, do you constantly…

Habits: of Lotto winners

Many people think that winning the lottery is the best thing that could happen to them. After all, who would not want to suddenly have lots of money? Mega millions winners might assume they have financial security for life, and can stop worrying about bills and start buying new stuff. The appeal of that type…

Habits: Creatures of habit

Human beings are creatures of habit. You only have to look at the rituals in your day-to-day to see how patterns permeate life. Think about the things you do on rinse and repeat. The brands you always buy. The supermarket aisles you choose to walk down. The ones you avoid. Your favourite restaurant. The same…